The (not-so) Weekly P.U.L.S.A.R.

Welcome to the Not So Weekly P.U.L.S.A.R.!

This is a way to share what I’ve been reading, watching, exploring, pondering, and more. It’s like a R.E.P.O.R.T., if you’re familiar with that. I just didn’t resonate with that acronym, so I made my own. It stands for Perusing, Unburdening, Learning, Shimmering, Aspiring, and Recommending. You’ll see.

For the non-space nerds, a pulsar is a type of star that emits regular pulses of radiation. It’s the pulsar from the pulsar map that locates our sun’s position in our known corner of the universe. This map is floating beyond our solar system on the Voyager 1 and 2 probes (favorite spacecrafts of mine; check out the documentary The Farthest) so that if any sentient life comes across the probes, they can find us.

Perusing

Books

As part of the Trans Rights Readathon (see my wrap up here), I finally read Aiden Thomas’ fantasy duology The Sunbearer Trials and Celestial Monsters. I was OBSESSED. I’ve never done the Hunger Games and don’t plan to, so this was my first ‘youth compete to die’ story but it’s sooo much more than that. I just love a book with something to say, you know? And a book with trans main characters too.

I reread Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao and then continued onto the sequel, Heavenly Tyrant. Although set in the deep future amid fantasy/science fiction elements (the book has a disclaimer to this point, in fact), I value this account of wide-scale change. I really enjoy a dig into what change looks like, even when it’s fascism (which I hate ofc, but I’m still fascinated by these processes).

I finally read the Darius the Great books by Adib Khorram. They’re YA about a gay Iranian-American teen boy with depression. Also he’s really into Star Trek and uses it to bond with his family- so relatable. I enjoyed tender-hearted Darius and would love to read more.

I also read Dear Mothman by Robin Gow and was blown away by this middle grade novel that processes grief and gender identity through letters to Mothman. It made me want to write to Mothman too, honestly.

TV Shows

Wrestling, wrestling, wrestling. (Wrestlemania is in less than two weeks! And we’re going! Again!)

Movies

We went to see the new (hand drawn 2D!) Looney Tunes movie (titled The Day the Earth Blew Up) and it was a hoot. I’m not even into Looney Tunes but it was wacky and sweet and earnest.

I’m in the ‘nah’ camp for Mickey 17 sorry. There just…better scifi tackling literally every single theme the movie (lightly) touches on out there. There’s also a Star Trek episode for every theme too lol.

Other

I do this thing where I won’t listen to music for weeks and then I’ll start again and be like !!!! this is the most amazing thing on the planet!!! My dad got me really nice over-ear headphones for Christmas (he’s a musician & into sound quality, so I asked him for some) so sometimes I just put those bad boys on and vibe. I spent an hour last weekend watching YouTube vids of my favorite performances and weeping. Here are the highlights:

• The Weight by the Band - the Last Waltz version

• Yoda’s Theme by John Williams performed by the Danish National Symphony

• How to Train Your Dragon Suite by John Powell at the Krakow Film Music Gala

• Come and Get Your Love by Redbone on the Midnight Special

• The Rise of Skywalker’s Featurette on John Williams’ final Star Wars score

Unburdening

I came out to my parents regarding my gender and that is an enormous weight off my shoulders, especially as they’re coming for graduation, meaning they’re coming into a space where I’m authentic about my gender.

Learning

My two final classes in grad school are focused on finishing my capstone research project and the Recovery Model of mental health care. Both are fascinating to me. My research project is titled Coping While Trans and explores how trans and nonbinary young adults are coping with transphobia and dysphoria. Like what coping strategies they’re choosing (both “healthy” and “unhealthy”) and how they describe that experience. I recently presented on it at my university’s campus symposium. I’ve enjoyed digging into that as it makes me feel like I’m doing something meaningful.

The Recovery Model is a way of thinking about mental health recovery that includes peer voices and believes that anyone can get to a point where they live a life that is meaningful for them. It differs from the medical model viewpoint that most treatment providers have where they are treating a problem, not helping a human build a life they want. You’d be surprised (or not) how far we are still from this mentality.

Shimmering

This section is for glimmers and delights!

I’ve been averse to leaving the apartment (safe space) lately but when I do, the fresh air smells so GOOD. And there is nature out there, even in the city! And creatures of all kinds living lives! Monumental.

Jackie and Shadow, the bald eagles nesting in Big Bear, are growing their chicks and they look so utterly ridiculous right now in this stage of growth. I check in on them on the live cam from time to time.

Aspiring

So much of what I want for the world seems to be getting farther away and that feels so dark. I feel so shut down, especially when I turn to face others. That being said, I aspire to make more connections in my community once I graduate (although that comes with searching for a full time job).

Recommending

Last year I switched from getting my news on instagram to getting it from newsletters. This allows me to stay informed while being able to choose precisely when I consume news. I subscribe to Democracy Now’s newsletter for national news. I subscribe to several local newsletters too, LAist and LA Public Press. I also subscribe to the Infophile’s newsletter even tho I don’t listen to the podcast because they share really amazing resources (not news).

I also recommend rooting. The strongest trees have the most prolific root systems that both nourish them and help them survive storms. We need both those benefits right now. Badly.

That’s all from my little region of our shared galaxy for now. Please, please, please comment if you have a thought or question. I love to hear from you. And I’m somewhat on instagram.

Keep on keepin’ on ❤️‍🔥