The (not-so) Weekly P.U.L.S.A.R.

Welcome to the Weekly P.U.L.S.A.R.!

This is a way to share what I’ve been reading, watching, exploring, pondering, and more. It’s like a R.E.P.O.R.T., if you’re familiar with that. I just didn’t resonate with that acronym, so I made my own. It stands for Perusing, Unburdening, Learning, Shimmering, Aspiring, and Recommending. You’ll see.

For the non-space nerds, a pulsar is a type of star that emits regular pulses of radiation. It’s the pulsar from the pulsar map that locates our sun’s position in our known corner of the universe. This map is floating beyond our solar system on the Voyager 1 and 2 probes (favorite spacecrafts of mine; check out the documentary The Farthest) so that if any sentient life comes across the probes, they can find us.

Perusing

I consume a great deal of media pretty much all the time, so this section likely won’t include everything.

Books

I’m rereading the Southern Reach Trilogy by Jeff Vandermeer before the fourth book (no longer a trilogy, eh?) comes out at the end of the month. I devour these ethereal science fiction novels every time. Actually, I love most of what Vandermeer puts out. I plan to reread Borne after I finish the Southern Reach as I remember loving it.

I finally got around to reading How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis, which is a neurodivergent & disability friendly guide to strategy & harm reduction in cleaning, self-hygiene, cooking, etc. By now I’m familiar with most of the tips in the book through other sources but it was great to have it all in one place. Highly recommend for folks who struggle with executive function.

TV Shows

I finished season 2 of The Ark which is a SyFy Channel show with mixed reviews. I mckfreakin love it though. Humanity is searching for a new home planet via big ass spaceships. A bunch of nerds have to solve episode-long problems along with their main quest. It doesn’t necessarily have a lot to say but it’s pretty good scifi with a compelling plot and decently interesting characters.

I also background-watched the Netflix show Supacell, about a small group of Black British young adults who get superpowers. I enjoyed it - and it had Ryan from Doctor Who as the star, if you know him.

I don’t usually review shows until they’re finished but I wanted to note that I’m really enjoying Agatha All Along (it’s for the gays, the femmes, and the weirdos) and my partner and I are absolutely entranced by The Penguin. We watch the latter every Sunday evening and we’re never so silent during a show (ok well I am never so silent, usually I have a lot to say while watching literally anything and my partner silently gives his reaction faces). I’m silent because I’m totally sucked into the show. It’s dark and it’s violent and it’s kind of a bummer but it’s very compelling. Good TV.

Movies

I watched the 2008 documentary The Garden for my advocacy class (I’m getting my masters in social work…for some reason, at this point I’m not sure what that reason is lol but 1.5 semesters to go until graduation!). It enraged me, as expected, because it’s about a community’s fight to keep their access to their community garden.

Other

My soul is still wailing Chappell Roan, even when asleep. 🎶Come take me out of Californiaaaaaa, no leaves are broooooowwwn, I miss the seasons in Missouri, my dying towwwwnnnnn🎶. I went to high school and college in Missouri, and now live in California so it hits. I’ve been missing the Midwest (yes, most of Missouri is the Midwest) and its nature. Thankfully we leave for Ohio (I also lived there for a few years) in a few days so I can get my fix of farmland and beautifully clear air.

The video game Palia was offline for a day or so, which is what I’ve been playing from time to time, so I returned to Stardew Valley after a couple years away. I stopped playing because I was frustrated at the speed the clock went and at the social aspects of the game that I didn’t understand. But this time, it’s clicking. Or at least, I’m enjoying myself and have been playing a little every day.

Unburdening

So I have CPTSD, as I’ve probably mentioned a million times. I’m in trauma therapy for it and so what I would like to unburden is all this damn trauma! But it’s a marathon, not a sprint, as frustrating as that is. I woke up this morning from a dream of people from my past. That always zonks me out for the morning. I get stuck in that past a little (or sometimes, a lot). So today, I’m unburdening that. I am letting go of those past memories and grounding myself in the present moment. It’s harder than it sounds, it turns out. Good thing I have therapy today!

Learning

I read To Be a Problem: A Black Woman's Survival in the Racist Disability Rights Movement by Dara Baldwin ahead of my second annual Disability 101 presentation I give to the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s therapy interns. It was a difficult book to read because it somewhat challenged my world view. I knew that the disability rights movement was racist - that’s why Disability Justice exists, as a reaction to that. However, to learn truly how exclusive and dismissive organizations were and how racist they continue to be was disheartening as disability rights is the dominant movement influencing policy.

It reminded me of the idea that nonprofits are an arm of capitalism that work to maintain the status quo. I’ve wanted to read The Revolution Will Not Be Funded by Incite! Women of Color Against Violence for a long time. It’s not available as an audiobook to my knowledge, which has prevented me from reading it. I read few physical prose books as I feel uncomfortable devoting quiet time to that (it’s a trauma, intolerance of calm thing). I’m working on it. But I’m highly motivated to read this book, especially as social worker-in-training that will likely end up working with or for nonprofits.

Shimmering

This section is for glimmers and delights!

My friend Victoria and I went to Los Angeles Comic Con last weekend and it was an absolute delight. I had a great convo with a comics creator about Doom Patrol (my favorite TV show) and the complexity of consuming media by problematic creators an whatnot. I let someone try out my rollator as they were considering purchasing my model. I, of course, got some great prints and comics. My body held up for longer than expected and it wasn’t as overwhelming as it could’ve been (I recommend attending Sundays for cons as Saturday is the Big Day). My haul:

Oh ALSO we ran into a puppet show there. I love puppets. I frequently comment that if I were living another life, I’d be a White man puppeteer in the 1970s. I think puppeteering is among the highest forms of art. The show we ran into is apparently an internet phenomenon. They offer puppet “adoptions” of their characters as well. How fabulous.

Aspiring

I feel like I’ve been fighting a lot lately. Fighting to find joy, hope. Fighting to keep moving forward. Fighting to stay afloat. I’m wondering if maybe that’s not the right strategy to be using. So I’m aspiring to flow more. To flow towards joy, hope, future. To flow with the twists and turns. To slip and slide around obstacles and resistance. To embrace my natural fluidity. Let’s see how that feels instead.

Recommending

I am, unfortunately, once again recommending mutual aid in the face of a hurricane. This time, Milton. Please refer to this post for funds to donate to. If you’d specifically like to help booksellers, refer to this post.

Still relevant: If you’re unsure how climate change connects to Palestine and other issues, check out this graphic from Lizartistry. Support Palestine by boycotting following BDS guidelines or donating to Crips for eSims to provide Sim cards to folks in Gaza so they can communicate digitally.

Also, today is Indigenous Peoples Day in the US. I encourage you to learn whose unceded land you’re on and to pay your rent. You can donate to the local tribal organizations near you or to national orgs. I donate a small amount annually to the Fernandeño Tataviam Band of Mission Indians as rent. For more context about this practice, read this article.

That’s all from my little region of our shared galaxy for now. Please, please, please comment if you have a thought or question. I love to hear from you. And I’m always on instagram. Like, always, lol.

Keep on keepin’ on ❤️‍🔥