The (not-so) Weekly P.U.L.S.A.R.

Welcome to the Weekly P.U.L.S.A.R.!

This is a way to share what I’ve been reading, watching, exploring, pondering, and more. It’s like a R.E.P.O.R.T., if you’re familiar with that. I just didn’t resonate with that acronym, so I made my own. It stands for Perusing, Unburdening, Learning, Shimmering, Aspiring, and Recommending. You’ll see.

For the non-space nerds, a pulsar is a type of star that emits regular pulses of radiation. It’s the pulsar from the pulsar map that locates our sun’s position in our known corner of the universe. This map is floating beyond our solar system on the Voyager 1 and 2 probes (favorite spacecrafts of mine; check out the documentary The Farthest) so that if any sentient life comes across the probes, they can find us.

Perusing

I consume a great deal of media pretty much all the time, so this section likely won’t include everything.

Books

I wrapped the Brown Sisters series by Talia Hibbert this week and tbqh Get A Life, Chloe Brown is still my favorite of the three books. The representation of chronic pain and trauma in a romance absolutely floored me (not that it’s unusual, just that I don’t opt in often).

I read this incredible serialized novel called The Vela written by superstar authors such as Rivers Solomon, Becky Chambers, Sangu Mandanna among others. It’s a space opera exploring a refugee crisis in a dying solar system. I read the first season as an audiobook and the second as a podcast on Spotify.

TV Shows

We finished All American: Homecoming this week. I’ve really enjoyed this spinoff focusing on athletes at an HBCU in Atlanta. This final season, the main character gets breast cancer. I don’t agree with everything that was portrayed but I think it was incredibly bold to display the challenges of being a young adult cancer survivor on television. They did it with grace, which is actually rather unusual. I’ll miss this show (& its swoony romantic interest played by Martin Bobb-Semple).

Movies

No new movies this week but last weekend we saw The Wild Robot which, while a little clunky overall, made me weep openly and affirmed my deep desire to be a parent.

Other

It’s a wrasslin’ weekend! My partner and I are deep, and I mean DEEP, into the world of professional wrestling. We’ve been to Wrestlemania, in fact, it was our holiday card last year. My partner, the original fan, watches a total of 8 hours per week of wrestling shows. I join him for 3+ of those. And then once a month there’s a 4-hour Premium Live Event from WWE (one of the 2 main pro-wrestling companies) which we watch live on Peacock. This weekend it is called Bad Blood and involves a match between two women while their boytoy dangles above them in a suspended shark cage. Yea, wrasslin’ is FUNKY. I’ll share a pic of that when it happens.

Unburdening

Cognitive defusion is a therapeutic technique in which you creatively imagine a scenario that separates you physically from your troubles. You can toss them off a mountaintop. You can put them on a conveyor belt that goes off beyond the horizon. One of my favorites is putting it in a specific box and setting it aside. My box is a very real tiny coffin that I painted sparkly black during Halloween season of 2018 when I was a psychiatric inpatient LOL. It used to cackle when you open it, but the voice box has long died.

After a particularly difficult therapy session, I breathe my trauma into this coffin like some kind of noxious mist. I snap the coffin shut, latch it, and set it the fuck away. It’s not like this cures my CPTSD, but it gives me some distance during my waking hours until my next EMDR session.

Learning

Nervous by Jen Soriano (Book)

If you have Complex PTSD (like me), you probably have a favorite CPTSD book. Maybe it’s The Body Keeps the Score (yuck) or maybe it’s What My Bones Know. This one is mine. Nervous is an exploration of living with chronic illness, CPTSD, and generational trauma from the perspective of a Filipino person.

I didn’t learn about the US occupation of the Philippines in school so I’m starting from almost zero. This book touched on the horrific atrocities committed by the United States which reminded me a lot of the stories coming out of Gaza. It’s clear to me that Israel learned from the best, meaning that the US did it first. Read more about the “Filipino-American war” here.

Also, it’s Filipino American History Month! If you’re looking for books to read, check out this Bookstagram account. I especially like the essay collection Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino.

Evolution of the Black Quarterback (Docuseries)

Professional football is a problematic fave of mine. I truly enjoy watching it, against my better judgment. As fans, my partner Jaylon and I love watching sports documentaries. Especially if they have a social justice throughline. Thus, we were very excited to watch the 3-part docuseries Evolution of the Black Quarterback.

This series explores the history, present, and future of Black quarterbacks in American football. Until very recently, Black men weren’t considered “smart” enough for the quarterback role. Now, though, Black QBs are having their moment.

The docuseries is hosted by Michael Vick, retired pro QB who went to prison for running a dog fighting ring. This initially threw me for a loop. Until the past few years, I had been tuned out of football since like 2011. So last think I knew, Vick was a Bad Guy. I turn to Jaylon, my personal sports expert, to explain. It turns out Vick has been largely forgiven by the football world (apart from racist White people). He was punished, he apologized, he made amends.

As an abolitionist, I believe that everyone deserves a second chance if amends are made. It appears to me that Michael Vick has made those amends. He was given his second chance to play football and had a good run before retirement. I am pro-forgiveness if earned and it seems he’s done that, as I learned.

Anyway, the docuseries was interesting, albeit a bit strangely structured (why did Vick interview Common and Jamie Foxx, exactly?). Oh, and they interviewed Colin Kaepernick, the QB who was blackballed by the NFL for taking a knee during the National Anthem. I was definitely side eyeing the doc the whole time to see if they were going to include him, as his action is still highly controversial. What doc about Black QBs would be complete without Kaep?

I tried looking into the production - who paid for it? Why wasn’t Kyler Murray interviewed? What was the motivation to produce this now? Why was it only 3 episodes? But all I could really find is that it’s partially a Vick passion project. I’ll keep my eye out.

Shimmering

This section is for glimmers and delights!

This week (month) I’m manifesting fall: Cool(er) air in the mornings before the temperature climbs. Coffee with pumpkin pie spice added to the grounds. Halloween decorations put up “early”. Bug wanting to spend mornings curled up on my lap. Napping on the couch in front of a football game.

Not that money brings joy but I did buy a cow-shaped storage ottoman from Target with a sick coupon to hold my library books and I’m udderly (lol) in love with it. A new pal.

Aspiring

I sometimes take my hermity ass out in the morning to a very tiny local park. I sit on the grass under the trees and I read and have a treat. Sometimes I also meditate and/or do a Qi-Gong video when I’m feeling extra skillful. I am in dire need of a park sit, but it’s been too hot lately (my Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome [POTS] makes me very sick in even a little heat). So, I aspire to get into nature as soon as the weather allows.

Recommending

Given Hurricane Helene’s destruction of much of Appalachia, I urge you to donate what you can to mutual aid funds on the ground there. Seeding Sovereignty has compiled a list of vetted funds to donate to. The radical bookstore and community hub Firestorm Books is a trusted source of updates for me on this topic as they are located in Asheville, NC. This post contains information and additional places to donate.

If you’re unsure how this connects to Palestine and other issues, check out this graphic from Lizartistry.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t also note that October 7th is the one-year anniversary of the Israeli & US backed genocide on Gaza. Participate in a direct action, boycott following BDS guidelines, or donate to Crips for eSims to provide Sim cards to folks in Gaza so they can communicate digitally.

That’s all from my little region of our shared galaxy for now. Please, please, please comment if you have a thought or question. I love to hear from you. And I’m always on instagram. Like, always, lol.

Keep on keepin’ on ❤️‍🔥