The Life Worth Living List

Content warning: this post discusses suicidal ideation.

On the origin of the LWLL:

I just spent about 20 minutes on Instagram and ended up wanting to skedaddle from this mortal plane. It’s my typical response to being exposed to the horrors of social media (a deliciously special combination of news, discourse, and terrible takes) and the primary reason I’ve almost completely ceased visiting the app/website. I love the human connection, the stories of mutual aid and community resilience, and the animal videos. But everything else is far too much for me.

I know these things (the horrors) are happening. I subscribe to one national, one international, and two local newsletters that deliver a good mix of them to my inbox. That way, I can choose when to read them, usually when I’m feeling strong. I also have loved ones who let me know about certain things (thank you). But as a C-PTSD baby, my nervous system can’t seem to handle being spontaneously inundated, at least where I am in my healing journey. I enter freeze mode/shut down and my brain determines that the only reasonable thing to do is, well, kill myself.

That’s not particularly useful, either to me or to the world, in my opinion. Which is why, just now, when my brain was just screaming WE’RE COOKED repeatedly, I texted several folks that exact statement, took a deep breath, and went to get a snack. And now I’m here, generating 7 more things that make life worth living.

1. When a TV show or movie or book is just SO GOOD that you’re kicking your feet and clapping your hands and giggling, even if that is not the vibe of the media at all. You can’t help it - it’s THAT GOOD.

2. Eating a fresh piece of fruit or a vegetable STRAIGHT OFF THE SOURCE. A tomato from a vine, an orange from a tree. (Personally, I’m not supposed to do this anymore due to a tummy condition, but I always make a small exception because that fresh, earthy taste is worth the consequence.)

3. Pussy willows. Most of us see them cut, and they last longer than any bloom! Their little soft tufts arranged along a confident stick in a way that reminds me of forsythia, their winter-to-spring flowering cousin.

4. Your famous person hero. I don’t really have any living ones (by choice) but I have a few folks I count among my ancestors in spirit. People whom I don’t need to know everything about but who gave something to this world that I much appreciate, even if it was just their authenticity.

5. The dream of flying. Like with your body, not in a vehicle. The aspiration to be totally unmoored from the earth, but in a way that feels buoyant and amazing and not at all terrifying. It may not be something I can literally experience, but it’s something I can watch birds do and Superman do and fly vicariously through them.

6. The relief of a task that was easier than you expected it to be. That big exhale.

7. Anticipation. Of anything that makes you eager to wake up the following morning. For me this week it’s the new Superman movie. I’d prefer for it to be something other than a piece of media (hm, that’s judgmental, Kat), but I don’t make the rules in this here brain.